I’d like to take a moment to tell you about myself and how schizophrenia has affected things I like to do. This illness can have a great impact on your life and who you are as a person. Whether it be pass time activities or what you want to do for a living. Let’s start with when I was younger.
When I was younger I enjoyed helping my father work on things. My father was always a handy guy to have around. Whether it be working on your car, doing some plumbing, some electrical, if something needed to be towed, or just helping you paint a room. I’ve always thought that was awesome and I’ve tried living my life by a motto “it’s useful being useful”.
Growing up I was exposed to working on many different things. When I was younger I always thought that I would grow up and either be a Jack of all trades or a driver of some sort. Even before I had my license or was even old enough to touch the pedals, my father and grandfather were teaching me how to drive. By the time I was in my early rebellion early, I was driving by myself without a license. I’ve done some stupid things behind the wheel, but I always seemed to get myself out of them without a scratch. Growing up we always had things like go-carts or mini bikes. By the time I could drive on my own, it was second nature.
Growing up working on all different things became useful later in life. We’ll get to that though. Learning how to work on things made me feel self reliant, even at a young age when I obviously still needed guidance. I wish I knew that back then. In the movies when you see that guy, who even though the world had ended he rigged his house with hot water air conditioning and power. That’s the type of guy I always wanted to be. Well, without the whole end of the world bit. Growing up I wanted to learn everything I could about keeping everything in working order. That was until I hit my pre teenage years and my illness reared it’s ugly head.
School wasn’t really an option once this illness took over. In the beginning it took all I had just to get out of bed and not sleep eighteen hours a day. Focusing on school was rarely an option. That is, if I could get up and actually go. Most teens skip school to go have fun with their friends. I skipped school and faked being sick so that I could just go home and crawl into bed. To escape from the world. My bed was my only safe haven.
As you probably know, there isn’t an equivalent to going to school and learning things. My education stopped and I no longer had to willpower to learn how to become self sufficient. It was heartbreaking to figure out that fact, but I had all I could think about just trying to accept my illness.
I finally found the right medication and lived happily ever after……
Well, not so much. There were many ups and downs still ahead for me.