Lions in the Night
Navigating a world where mental illness is unbelievably stigmatised can be difficult. So when you choose to tell someone be prepared for a possible bad ending. Not only has one of your worst fears come true but now the potential power someone has over you can cause problems. Really think about it though. In all honesty people barley know an ounce of what you think they know about you.
Not everyone is the same though and trust me, there are good people out there. Having that illness hidden may be beneficial given the state of these times. For me personally, I am very selective on who receives my secret. I pay attention to personalities. You should spend time getting to know people. Sure terrible people tend to stand out but if you know what to look for, so do good people. Meaningful connections are possible but it starts with you. Lose the negative outlook that everyone thinks something is wrong with you.
Starting with the first thing that comes to mind. Not finding yourself so deep in a hole that your blog is your only outlight. Believe it or not, you need to be able to talk about your mental illness with people. Even just casual conversation alleviates the crushing weight. If you have that open line of communication with people, you should talk with them to help clear your head.
People are more understanding than you think.
When you have grown up with a narcissistic mother sometimes trusting, developing connections, maintaining healthy relationships can be extremely difficult. It has been pondered by my therapist whether or not I have CPTSD. That is a story for another time though. The point I am trying to make is Schizophrenia is never by itself. Many mental illnesses are accompanied by others. Holding me back is that delicate trust. Ever so fragile.
There is plenty to go wrong when opening up to people. Believe it or not it is actually a common occurrence. Rumours, exaggerations, panic just to name a few. I have lost jobs because of it. Women who told me they loved me turned and ran. Certainly a slippery slop. But one thing I know for sure is that when you find that person or people who take your secret and still accept you. Life begins to become more meaningful.
This is not just a cautionary tale, this me telling you that sometimes it is worth the risk. I am not saying lay it all out there on the line. But timing is everything
Moral of the Story
Put yourself out there. All of you preconceived notions of the world and what people think. They are probably wrong. It is for all of us. Therefore telling yourself that you can not open up to people is not the way. You only live one time and you should make the most of it.